Bringing Out the Best in Boys

Bringing Out The Best in Boys

Boys will be boys, and that's now a big problem, according to Harvard psychologist William Pollack. He just completed a three-year study of healthy, middle-class boys and concluded that many of them are depressed, confused, isolated, and vulnerable.

Far from the stereotype of unfeeling "snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails," boys in the study voiced profound feelings of sadness, fear, and uncertainty about the prospect of becoming men. "Boys are caught in the impossible bind of living up to society's conception of the new male, who is caring, sensitive, and believes in female equality, while subscribing to traditional ideas about needing to be tough and macho," says Pollack.

The frustration of trying to live with a split psychology can lead to depression and repression of feelings, he concludes. It can also foster anger and violence. In extreme cases, it might contribute to suicide and murder."Many boys not allowed to shed tears, shoot bullets," Pollack comments. "The study has uncovered the tip of a deeper, more frightening iceberg, one that can cause serious violence in boys who make poor adjustments.